Tomorrow I will be 21. Crazy!

It's going to be a fantastic Saturday filled with friends, food, Merchant Marines, and ball gowns. I'm having a friends+family party in the middle of the day and I'm going to the Merchant Marine Academy Christmas Ball (which is slightly more dressy than prom) at night. My date is 6'1", intelligent, and good looking. And did I mention that he's a merchant marine? And a private pilot? And able to restore and fly old aircraft? Too cool.

I feel like Cinderella. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I've been busting my butt for the entire semester and I've been getting socially beat up for the past two months. (Evil step-sisters actually exist!) And now I get to go to the ball. :) I'm so excited.

My party should be interesting. My Dad's been talking about it all week, announcing it like it's an episode of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. "College Kids vs. Family -- Round One!" It should be interesting to say the least. I'm not worried -- actually more curious than worried. It's going to be fun no matter what.

I'm so tempted to make an all-Mozart playlist for the party. Mozart died on tomorrow/my birthday. Besides, what else could possibly make this party any weirder?

Apparently Rachel is making me a special cake that looks just like the stage/curtain of the Royal Opera House. If she can accomplish this, not only will I be really impressed, but I'll be tickled pink. (Or red, considering the curtain at the Royal Opera House.) I'm considering putting my Mozart action figure by it. It'll be just like I'm five again! LOL

No, but I'm excited. Only a few more hours! There's still tons of cooking and cleaning to be done tonight, but that's Cinderella's forte, right?

I woke up this morning with really big bruises on the back of my legs. One of them takes up half of my thigh! This is intense. My Mom was like, "Omgosh, what the heck are they doing to you?" But I know exactly how I got them.

Yesterday, I had opera rehearsal from 2-7:30. Granted, I didn't rehearse the entire time (I spent 3 hours assisting the costume designer! More on that in a second) but I had some intense rehearsal time. I blame all my battle wounds on Rossini.

We were doing the trio from The Barber of Seville for about 45 minutes. It's a very physical scene. The music is fast and the situation is intense so things get pretty crazy pretty fast. (Then again, the entire show is fast and intense and hysterical. I cannot wait to sing this show!) Basically, the three of us are trying to get out of my house so that the Count and I (Rosina) can elope. However, each character has a different opinion on the best method of escape so in the end everyone is pulling on everyone else and I really get whipped around the stage because it's me versus two boys.

There's this one section of the staging that came about by improv on the Count's part, but it worked so well that we kept it. However, it was tricky to make it "work" so we had to run it a few dozen times. In the course of the staging, the Count pushes me up against a thigh-high table. Hence the bruises. I kept saying, "I'm going to have bruises tomorrow." And I was right. But I am not ashamed of my battle scars! Besides, the staging is pretty sexy so it's totally worth all the bruising.

The three hours I spent with the costumer were so much fun. (We're starting on costuming for the big opera, Die Fledermaus, which we're performing in January.) She is really cool and über-creative. I wrote down measurements as she took them and helped her catalog all the clothes that people brought in. Between appointments, we got to chat and we were talking about the whole clothing-design industry and being an artist and what we want to do with our lives. She really loves what she's doing and I love to meet people who love what they're doing. She has a studio in NYC that I'd LOVE to see. I knew her vaguely because she worked with us on the opera last year. One of the best pro-s of being the scribe was that I got the scoop on the costumes for all the leads in the show. (The entire production presentation -- with sets, costumes, overall concept, etc -- is next week but it was so nice to get a sneak peek yesterday.)

I'm getting really excited for this show. It's supposed to be set in the 1860s but due to budget issues (and my director's innate dislike for "traditional" productions), we're setting the opera in the 1980s. ROCK ON. I was told that the entire first act is a pool-side scene. The lead soprano is going to be in a bathing suit, cover-up, and heels. The tenor is the pool-boy (LOL). When the costumer asked him if he'd wear a Speedo (and nothing but a Speedo, LOL x 1000), he flat-out refused. Then she asked if he'd wear tiny shorts instead, but he refused that, too. He put his hand to his knee and said, "No shorter than this!" He talked about it for the rest of the day and made his Facebook status "Derek will absolutely NOT wear a Speedo on stage. EVER. Final Answer." <3

I was even more excited to hear what my character is going to be like. They've decided to make my character GLAMROCK. Think David Bowie. Frilly shirt, leather jacket, big boots, crazy hair...YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Apparently the party that I'm throwing is actually a social experiment. All the guests/victims (aka the chorus) are uppity socialites and I'm the "cool" rebel. Cool stuff. I cannot WAIT for January!

I came home so exhausted last night. But it's that great feeling of exhaustion when you're happy and tired and fulfilled. This morning was another story. My severe lack of money forced me to drink instant coffee (that I can get for free at the office I work at). But that's okay. I can settle for instant coffee. In fact, it tastes good just because it's a symbol of what my life will be and I'm happy to take that life because it means that I get to sing opera again tomorrow.

No, there is no dealing with people!

This semester needs to be over. Now. Kthanksbye

So, I made some discoveries yesterday.

-Skinny hazelnut lattes at Starbucks = LOVE And they're only 90 calories!! DOUBLE LOVE

-When something seems sketchy, LEAVE. PRONTO. I went to a local college last night with some friends to see an experimental drama and we left before it even started because the place was SKETCHY. We took a vote and went to Starbucks instead.

-Isabel (opera director) told my best friend, Rachel, that our characters are going to "like each other very much." Granted, I'm playing a boy (what else is new). I'm very interested to see how this opera turns out...

How did my life turn out this way?

These are ALL true about me. See how many you can relate to. :P

You know you're a nerd when...

...you and your friends/family play "guess that conductor" instead of charades.

...you look at a shampoo bottle and say, "Hey! There's a comma missing!"

...you look at the daily Google picture and you know what it's commemorating before you scroll over it.

...you fall asleep with textbooks in your bed and you don't notice until halfway through the next day.

...you quote Captain Kirk in real life and your brother laughs because he knows exactly what you're referring to AND he knows the name of the episode is that the quote is from.

...you think of every purchase in terms of how many songs on ITunes that would be.

...you know a random date that your teacher/professor asked for but didn't expect anyone to actually know and you can't remember how/why you know it.

...you play charades and the choices are: movie, book, tv show, play, and opera.

...you know the Dewey Decimal number of a specific subject.

...you talk about famous people by their first names and everyone knows who you're talking about.

...you can answer the questions on Jeopardy that the contestants don't know.

...you know who Petra is and what their greatest hits were.

...you have drawn out conversations about the meaning of Time and whether it actually exists or not.

...you don't notice that you're randomly adding phrases in foreign languages into your everyday speech.

...you have 43 books checked out and think nothing of it.

...you squee over a New York Philharmonic concert (and think that the first-chair cellist is cute).

...you're 10 years old and your role models are Nancy Drew and an android named Data (Star Trek TNG).

...you can read three different alphabets.

...you know the date of every Mozart opera premiere but you can't successfully drive two miles without getting lost (in your home town where you've lived for over 10 years).

...you correct a teacher's/professor's grammatical mistakes when you copy down their notes.

...you're 12 years old and you want to be an astronomical geologist when you grow up.

...you visit three different libraries in the same day and think that it's normal.

...you use opera singers' names in the place of profanities.

One of the great ironies of the world is Chopin’s trip with George Sand to Majorca. I’m surprised he would go at all. But that is beside the point.

The funniest thing of all is this: while they (Chopin, George Sand, and her two children) were in Cartuja, they stayed in a monastery. The place had been inhabited by monks just a few years before but the government had driven them out and repossessed the land for their own use. Now foreigners took up residence in the monk’s cells. What a strange place for Chopin and George Sand to stay!

I’ll be honest: I really don’t understand their relationship (yet). It is so utterly complex and the facts are muddled and cloudy; I can’t seem to get a clear fix on what actually went on. This relationship has obviously intrigued others; there are a great many books written on the subject and during the course of every thing written on Chopin, George Sand is brought up. And vice versa. They are both “famous” in their own respects. I suppose it is a curiosity that two celebrities (of two different worlds) would have had an affair, but the interest in this relationship seems to extend past that. I can’t put my finger on it. Not yet. This is one of my summer projects: figure out the Chopin/George Sand relationship.

Meanwhile, I’m excited to listen to the music that Chopin wrote while residing here. Majorca is so exotic— so singular a place. I cannot wait to hear what sort of music it inspired. More to come.

Just to get an idea, here is one of George Sand's description of the place: (she is such a good writer!)

"How lovely were those tricks of light we used to see when oblique rays would find a way through the crannies of the rocks, or slide between the different peaks, to pick out alternating crests of gold and purple in the middle distance! Sometimes our cypresses, those jet-black obelisks which served to set-off the background of the picture, would bathe their tips in this flaming sea, and the clusters of dates on our palm-trees would seem like bunches of great rubies, while one great line of shadow sweeping down athwart the valley cut it into two quite separate zones-- the one, flooded with the brilliance of a summer's light, the other blue and cold, and to the sight uncompromisingly a winter's landscape.

"It is one of those views which overpower the spectator because they leave nothing more to be desired, nothing to the imagination. Nature has already created everything which poet and painter could envisage in their dreams. An immense whole, an infinity of details, an inexhaustible variety; a welter of mingling shapes; clearcut outlines, dim depths-- oh, everything is there already and there is nothing left at all for art to add! As for me, I have never been more conscious of the inadequacy of words than during the hours which I spent gazing out from the Cartuja."

from Chopin and George Sand in Majorca by Bartolome Ferra; trans. James Webb, Haskell House 1974

Omgosh, this semester is officially and finally OVER! Thank God!

I just handed in my 96-page honors project; that means SPRING 09 IS COMPLETE. Ah! I can't believe how amazing this feels. It's disgusting outside but I feel like I could coax the sun out with my enthusiasm.

What a change this is from the last month. Before Monday, my life was hell for three weeks. Terrible. I was so happy when it all turned around on Monday with my huge C Level Petition/Jury. It was a turning point moment: a Shakespearean "point of no return." It could have gone really bad (which would have jeopardized the rest of my career, aka my life) or I could have broken through the three-week slump and done amazing. There was no in-between.

Thank God it was the latter. I did fantastically. I got an A and I was emphatically approved into the performance program by all four judges. Yes!

Now summer can begin. :) Here's the music that helped me get through the end of the semester:
Head over Heels (In This Life) - Switchfoot
Even Angels Cry - Jars of Clay
Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen - Mahler (Translation: The world lost me long ago)
Hanging by a Moment - Lifehouse
Awakening - Switchfoot
Cinque...dieci...venti... - Mozart (opening duet from The Marriage of Figaro)

For those of you who have been paying attention the past few months:

( On writing, art, and self-discovery )
But enough philosophy! I hope you all have a great summer and good luck to anyone who still has school/finals.

Toi, toi, toi!

Life is strange.

Just in general, life is strange.  There's nothing else to be said about it.  You could throw a thousand adjectives at me and, heck, they'd all describe life for someone somewhere.

It just kills me to see California burn.  And I'm not even there.  I can't do a thing but pray about it.  There are so many things that I can't do.  And, yet, people obsess over those few things I can actually do (and I don't do it myself; everything comes from God anyway).  What do I honestly have claim to?

The last breath I took?  My memories?  My honesty, pride, family, hair, that old tissue on my messy floor...?

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Sure, I'm given things to be a steward of, but that's about it.  I can't even handle that sometimes.

God, I could never make this on my own.  If the whole world were to crumble today, what would I have?  A few shreds of dignity?  A few pretty, useless memories and some rotting medals?

So many questions and so few answers.  That's life: a lack of answers.

So, this was extremely spontaneous but OH WELL.  I need to vent in this obscure way every so often. 

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense.  Frankly, the world doesn't make sense.

P.S.
:)